i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
