Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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