plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
