Sponge bath it is.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
