I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize