But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
