I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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