I think my vagina is haunted
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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