I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
