God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
