There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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