At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
