Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
