Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize