I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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