Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
