I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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