ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
