ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
