Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
