i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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