you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
