I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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