CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize