Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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