I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
