So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
