two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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