Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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