you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
