how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
