i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
