its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
