I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize