I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Randomize
