Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
