we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
