I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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