i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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