i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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