This girl is more easily done than said...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
