these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
