just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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