And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
