The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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