didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
