If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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