she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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