Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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