onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
