btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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