Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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