my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
