Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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