Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
