No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
