I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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