dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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