I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
