Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
