whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
