Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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