Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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