After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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